i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
