i barfeds in our rink
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
