i already hear my dad disowning me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we're making bets on your personal life
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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