I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
