I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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