genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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