If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Houston, we have a blender
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
