I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
