I saw his package. It spoke to me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
