It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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