Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
