i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Pooping to opera.
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