No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
