Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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