Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
