hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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