guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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