just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
