what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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