Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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