Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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