And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
