Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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