4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
