I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
