there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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