But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
