Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
