I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
