"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
