someone threw a dead crab at me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
