plz talk dirty to me
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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