that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
