I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
