i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
