apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
