If i come over, it means nothing
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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