Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
