I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
