I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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