Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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