took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
