I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You made out with two different species that night
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
