It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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