...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
