If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
