You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just want to make out with him forever
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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