didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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