using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
