well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
