girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
